KISS: Keeping It Simple (like) Sarah

Twenty five years ago I attended the Landmark Forum, and said that I came out of that weekend fifty pounds lighter as I said good-bye to the enormous burdens that I had carried with me every day for the previous many, many years. I didn’t literally lose fifty pounds, but I did really free myself of the psychological burdens that weighed me down both physically and emotionally.  Things like sibling rivalry complaints… parent “junk”…worry over work drama – not work performance, work drama… self-image insecurities…etc.  Most people are so busy wallowing in their burdens that they don’t even realize that most of them are self-imposed.  My big takeaway from that weekend, and many other coaching experiences since, was how much easier life is when we release ourselves of these self-imposed pressures and simply live.

And I do.. I live my life by some very simple principles that keep me feeling healthy and strong, and protect me from emotional and physical self-destruction.  I thought I’d share them with you so you too can live lighter and freer. 

My top 10 simple principles to live by:

1. Tell them you love and appreciate them – I make sure that the people in my life know that they are loved and appreciated. How? I tell them regularly.  Besides telling him I love him, I make sure that my husband, in particular, knows that I notice and appreciate the many little things he does every day to make our life together even better.  
2.  Keep your word. Don’t lie. Be trustworthy. This, to me, is so basic and I am astonished every day at the number of people I see lying to themselves and those around them. Why do they do it? I wish I knew.  At the simplest level lying adds stress and complicates your life as you need to keep track of what you said to whom,  and the secrets you are hiding. It harms your psyche and creates inflammation which leads to disease in your body. Life is so much simpler when you’re honest with yourself and with others.
3. Exercise every day… at least 30 minutes. Our bodies are happier when they move because that’s what they were created to do. I am MUCH happier when I move every day. If I don’t exercise at least every other day it not only affects me physically, but my mood is also effected. Some days it’s the gym. Some days it’s pickleball or a hike or snowshoeing or skiing in the winter. Almost every day includes a 1-2 mile dog walk. I am not trying to win any contests. I just want to feel good and like the way I look. 

4. Just because they say it you don’t have to take it in – Far too many people spend far too much time being offended. Just because something is said directly or indirectly to you does not mean that you have to believe or accept it.  If you’re keeping your word and doing your best, trust that you are making the right choices for you each day and don’t let “their” issues or insecurities be transferred on to you. This doesn’t mean to reject constructive feedback.  It means to avoid creating drama by believing words that are meant to harm.

5. Eat real food. Drink water. It’s as simple as that. Fresh produce, whole grains, lean proteins, water. Listen to your body for foods that make you feel good and those that don’t agree with you.  If you’re tired or bloated/gassy after eating something then your body is rejecting it.  Even a food that is generally considered healthy may not feel good to you.  In general, avoid wheat, sugar and dairy – these are the biggest offenders to our digestive systems.   What to drink? Water. Just water.
6. Do your best so you don’t have a nagging thought in your head that you could have done better or that you cut corners. I’m always amazed at how hard some people work to avoid doing their best. This is especially prevalent among children who will whine and complain for hours to avoid completing a simple chore. Rather than procrastinating or making excuses, just do it and know that you gave it your all.  If you don’t give it your all, there will always be a nagging little voice in your head that reminds you of it, creating a feeling of shame.
7.  Smile and laugh - a lot. You’re here.. you might as well enjoy it.  There is a lot of serious stuff going on in the world, but there are some things that simply are not as serious as we make it out to be.  There is always a time and place for a smile or a laugh.
8.  This is especially directed at the younger generations who far prefer texting to talking. Stop hiding behind keyboards and cell phones or avoiding a conversation altogether. Ghosting destroys relationships (obviously) and leaves you with guilt that hides inside knowing that you left someone hanging. Take a moment to actually talk to them, if not in person then via video call or on the phone.  I regularly schedule walk and talk dates with distant friends during dog walk times. 
9. Don’t worry. Worry is a waste of emotional space as well as brain space. If you can’t control the situation, influence it or change it, then let go. Worrying will have absolutely no impact on the outcome except to possibly make you sick or in pain. Prepare where you can for whatever problems may arise and then just enjoy the ride.  All the worry in the world won’t change the weather, the traffic, other people’s behavior or thousands of other influences on the outcome of a situation. Better:  Imagine and believe in a successful outcome.
10. Keep life simple. More stuff is not necessary. More gadgets are not necessary. Filling every shelf and table top with cute nick knacks makes it difficult to see the special ones.  Can you make do with a knife rather than a single purpose kitchen appliance? Can you put new pictures in the old frames rather than adding more? Are your countertops and tables piled high with papers to be “handled” or filed away? Sure new clothes are fun…see if you can let go of an old item when you bring a new one in.  I always find it a fun game to figure out how to make do with what I have rather than needing to acquire more. When it comes to buying new things for young children keep in mind that clothes are quickly outgrown and toys are quickly forgotten or lost in the rubble.  This isn’t to say don’t get new things… just make it special. 

Kisses...