Great Neighbors Are True Life Savers

by Sarah Hiner

Where do you go for some more mustard in an emergency? Or if your dog has been home alone for hours and you’re stuck in traffic? I know where I go for my phone-a-friend assist: my neighbors.

There is nothing better than having great neighbors as they create an expanded sense of safety and security as well as expanded social connection. Even if you have family and friends “nearby” it’s not the same as having someone moments away in good times and during emergencies (like that empty mustard jar when the hot dogs just came off the grill).  

I grew up in a magical neighborhood, not unlike other urban areas of the 1960s where packs of kids roamed the streets, taking ourselves to the park around the corner and the candy store on the way to school. We had annual Wizard of Oz pajama parties at my friend “Mary’s” house so we could watch the classic film on the only color TV in the neighborhood.  My bedroom window was ten yards away from my dear friend “Patty’s” window, and 64 years later I will be attending the wedding of her son this November.  She’s not a friend.. she’s a sister to me.

Even though we all moved away from that neighborhood over 50 years ago, we have found each other on Facebook too. It’s crazy that I regularly trade messages with people I haven’t seen since I was seven and yet there is a heartfelt closeness that bonds us together.

I honestly don’t know where I would be without my neighbors… from my childhood, from my kids’ childhood and in our new neighborhood.

My kids had a similar experience to me, growing up in a neighborhood filled with kids and the freedom to wander in and out of each others’ houses. There were seven houses on our little cul de sac with 16 kids. It was a new street and we were all relatively new parents creating roots in a new town together. We needed each other for the sake of our kids and the sake of our sanity. The kids were lucky enough to have an assortment of toy rooms and back yards so there was always somewhere new and interesting to play, and they had an array of mothers available for snacks and to clean boo-boos.   

There are many jokes about the neighborhood busy-body – the one who peeks out the front window to see who is going in and out of the neighbor’s houses. Well, In this day and age, I will take a busy body any time.  On “Whispering Hill”,  the cul de sac where we raised our girls,  we had an informal pact that we would all keep an eye on the street and the neighbors’ houses. We needed each other, especially since without through traffic, a cul de sac can be more vulnerable to crime. In our new neighborhood in Colorado, we are regularly watching out for neighbors’ houses who don’t live here full time, and there is a group text thread to alert each other if bears have been spotted nearby. 

Sure there are Ring doorbells and Nest cameras, but there is no replacing human interaction and care. 

I’m thrilled that my daughter and her husband bought a home a few years ago next door to an elderly couple who have lived in the same place for decades. What a gift for both of them.  The “kids” have helped out the oldsters on multiple occasions when physical strength was needed for a task. And “Helmut” keeps his watchful eye on the neighborhood and the kids’ house earnestly speaking up to be sure that everything is alright. In addition, they have acquired new friends and a network of dog owners and dog lovers who help out when pet parents are in a pinch and Fido needs a quick walk or place for an overnight. 

What’s your neighborhood like? Do you have people who you can go on an early morning walk with? Borrow a trowel to plant some bulbs? Call to watch the kids if you’re stuck in traffic? Or do you live in a neighborhood of the 2020’s where people exist on the privacy of their screens, but not in public? Here are some thoughts of how to let down those fences…

•  Walk the neighborhood. This is of course far easier if you have a dog but even if you don’t get out and see who else is out there. I can’t tell you how many people I have met in my new neighborhood on my daily dog walks.
•  Bring over a welcome gift to new neighbors… some flowers, bottle of wine, home made cookies or granola.
•  Catch them when they’re outside. 
•  Walk your kids to the bus stop. I am shocked at how many people drive their kids to the bus stop, staying in their cars until the bus arrives. Walk to the corner... get a little exercise and fresh air. And a little conversation with the neighbors. They’re all in their cars? Maybe you’ll start a trend. 
•  It’s never too late to introduce yourself. Even if you’ve lived there for a while, that doesn’t mean you can’t knock on the door when you know they’re home and introduce yourself. 
•  And, if all else fails, put a note in their mail box with your contact info and asking for theirs “Hi Neighbor. We haven’t had a chance to talk but I’d love to. Here’s my contact info. Can we have a cup of tea one day?  Or just a driveway chat?”  We had a new neighbor who left a note and a jar of jelly beans. What a sweet way to announce their arrival. 

It may be awkward at first, but building strong neighborhood bonds creates a unique extended family for all involved. A few weeks ago it was very surreal to meet the two young children of one of the kids who grew up with my girls. And we have three weddings to attend this fall: two are kids who roamed the cul de sac with our girls, and the other is the son of my “sister” Patty. Meanwhile I was honored last spring to be asked by my Colorado neighbors to be stand-in-grandparent for their daughters’ grandparents day at school. Even though I felt too young for the role, it was an honor I will forever treasure.


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